Today I am 39 weeks pregnant and on the brink of transformation. Knocking on the door of a version of me I've been manifesting for the last 9 months.
I've thought a lot about if I need to show up as a business owner in this time-- and I know I certainly don't. I have every right to keep these sacred thoughts to myself, to log off and not share this time in my life.
And yet, it's not very often we get the notice that our whole life is about to change. Let alone give insight on what it looks like to transform mentally, emotionally, and spiritually in real time.
So I decided to come back to the genesis of this business and do just that -- begin our very first blog entry at the end of one phase and the beginning of the next. In honour of our muse, the moon.
In a few short days, I'll be on the other side. With a brand new story to share and recounts of events already laid out for me-- secrets I've yet to be let in on.
Until then, I'm here. In the space between. Learning and unlearning, saying hello and goodbye.
My journey into motherhood this time around has been a spiritual gateway. One that has challenged everything. My mindset, my body, my ego-- beliefs about control, about my capabilities. It's challenged me to let go, to trust that everything required is inside of me. That I am a champion of self.
Going inward and establishing a deep connection with myself has been critical in meeting this transition. Journals filled with introspections. Notepads and sticky notes with written affirmations of encouragement, hope and gratitude. I'm not sure I'd be prepared otherwise. That I could find strength and honour this time in my life and my daughters without them.
And when I reflect on transformations of any kind, not just motherhood, I realized it can always be this messy. That making the leap from one version of ourselves to the next is like a tug-of-war of time. Of embracing the unknown and leaping forward yet trying to hang on to the comfort of the past.
Over the last few days I've been meeting this new timeline with trails of used Kleenex tissues, curated playlists and pages of writings spread out alongside my bed. Saying goodbye to the woman who got me here, how proud I was to be her and how I'll carry her forever with me, no matter what happens next.
For so many of us in a time of transformation, it may be easier to run, to hide, to close up and come out when the sun is shining again. But the darkness is where we truly find our light. It's where we find ourselves.
So to those who are in the night of your life, who are traveling a path into the unknown with no light ahead but the one within themselves-- please nurture it. Get to know your self. Sing affirmations of hope and praise. Be present in it with gratitude. Until you're able to shine so brightly you light the way again.
No matter what phase you're in, you are exactly where you're meant to be-- even if its nowhere at all. And know that the blank pages ahead will be filled with the stories of a time where you were brave enough to transform.
Sending love & light your way
xo Angie
** Pictured Above is our Gratitude Check-In Notepad, Daily Affirmations Notepad, Manifest Journal and Moon Sticky Notes. Just some of the tools that have helped me light the way through my journey of transformation. Find them in our shop.